Plane Delay

The poor guy waiting for the plane to Orlando to board had three little kids, all five years old and under, two clearly still in diapers. All of us headed to Florida had already been delayed an hour and a half since being deplaned, and each of his little boys had had his own mini meltdown, whimpering his own distinct whine. “Why aren’t we leaving yet?” “He took my Iron Man!” “When will we leave?” “What’s wrong with the airplane?” “I don’t want cheese; I want a squiggly!” “Let’s go back home!” “I’m tired of waiting!” “Let’s go back to the car!” The man had the patience of Job, tolerating every tantrum and explaining every single time one of his boys asked that there was too much rain and lightning where we were headed and that the airline and the pilots didn’t want us to crash.

“Why not?”

“Because they are trying to take care of us.”

Where was the mom? I don’t know, but he was doing an amazing job of single parenting. Of course, he had Mima and Popeye helping him… Well, maybe not “helping.” From directly across the row, I watched (and listened to) Mima coddle the littlest guy in her lap. She offered him (and he ate) three sugar donuts in a row, I suspect without considering the consequences. Sure, they were minis, but so was he.

By the time the obvious effects occurred to her, he was too full to eat even one piece of string cheese. Then he started his own personal rampage. Running ever-widening circles around all of his brothers, all of his family, and eventually all of the rest of us harassed passengers-to-be.

As an observer sitting close enough to be involved, it was hard to decide whether to be amused or pissed off.

So it turns out that they need new diapers, including the five-year-old. (Apparently, his family travels with him in a pull-up, “just in case.” But “just in case” had come and gone without Jimbo notifying anyone that he needed the restroom. I’m thinking because, to his way of thinking, he didn’t.) Dad goes “in search of,” and returns with one bag. Holding it up, he explains, “Yep, I got the last one.“

So Mima says the first thing that occurs to her. “Well, let’s be optimistic. Maybe they won’t need them again.”

After several moments passed, apparently thinking about it, she adds, “If they do, try using a mask instead.”

I never laughed so hard. We had another hour’s wait, at least!

If you and your spouse can agree on how to resolve your divorce, you can remain friendly during that process, and avoid making your friends and family (and other observers) unwilling participants in your divorce war. If you’re drowning in litigation, reach out to Joryn Jenkins at Joryn@OpenPalmLaw.com or find her at OpenPalmLaw, where we are changing the way the world gets divorced!