3: Sample Infomercials

Review the sample infomercials below from the Pitch section of your Master Set. 

Sample Infomercials 

Most of my infomercials begin with “I’m a family lawyer. I help folks divorce each other without destroying their families or eating up their savings.” If it doesn’t begin that way, it’s still there somewhere, as in the first one below. Every one of them ends with “I’m Joryn Jenkins, at Open Palm Law, where we’re changing the way the world gets divorced!” 

  • Divorce is one of the most stressful events in a person’s life. Divorce interferes with a person’s ability to perform his job. I’m Joryn Jenkins, and I’m a family lawyer at Open Palm Law. I help folks divorce each other without destroying their families or their savings. Or interfering with their work. A good referral for me is a small business with 10-30 employees. Introduce me to the owner so I can tell him why collaborative divorce is good for his employees and therefore good for him! 
  • My best referral sources are marriage counselors, psychologists, family therapists, and life coaches. They try to keep the marriage together but protect the family relationships when it is clear that it must end. Introduce me; I’m Joryn Jenkins…. 
  • Why collaborative divorce? 
    1.  It’s confidential: the financial information; the personal information. 
    2.   It’s less expensiveCourt divorce can cost as much as you want, but it can’t cost as little as you want; it’s not just in one party’s control! And no Perry Mason stuff in collaborative divorce! No discovery… motions…       battle of the experts… no trial. 
    3.  It’s less stressful. Courtroom divorce is difficult. But collaborative divorce is kinder… gentler. 
    4.  It belongs to the parties, not some judge. Clients can agree to do what judges cannot order them to do. 
  • My best referral sources are first responders like financial advisors; they are concerned that the family not dissipate its wealth through the divorce process, and want to retain both clients instead of losing one in the war. Introduce me; I’m Joryn Jenkins…. 
  • Divorce is one of the most stressful events that can happen in someone’s lifetime. And yet well over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. A good phrase to listen out for is “I’m through with marriage counseling,” or “I’m done with her,” or “I’m moving out.” Refer him to me and I’ll explain his least stressful divorce choices. 
  • Divorce is one of the most stressful events that can happen in someone’s lifetime. And yet well over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. When you refer a person to me, I’ll explain the least stressful divorce choices to him or her. I tell my clients, “If you want to choose your fate, you should collaborate!” 
  • “50% of first marriages … 67% of second marriages … and 74% of third marriages end in divorce” No one learns anything constructive in the traditional divorce process. All they learn is how to go to court. Even when they’re done, they go back to court over and over again. Collaborative divorce, instead, teaches folks to problem solve, to communicate better, and how to work together to resolve their disagreements. It arms them with skills to work through problems in their future relationships.  
  • You heard of Gwyneth Paltrow? Conscious Uncoupling helps folks cope with their break up emotionally. But what of the legal and financial issues? The collaborative process unbinds a couple’s legal and financial ties in an emotionally safe setting where they can focus on their real interests.
  • It’s bad when people stay in hate-filled relationships, suffering for years in an unbearable marriage. I’m a marital surgeon. I cure diseased relationships by removing the offending part. Divorce is not the problem. An unhappy marriage is the problem; collaborative divorce is the cure. 
    • Who is my perfect referral source? Any “first responder,” anyone who is the first to know that Jane is leaving John, that Mike is cheating on Marj, or that Adam is done with Eve. “Who?” 
    • Your banker! 
    • Your hair stylist! 
    • Your personal trainer!
    • Your marriage counselor! 
    • Your pastor! 
    • Your bartender! 
    • Your nail tech!  

Introduce me! 

  • It’s hard to leave an awful movie without disturbing anyone…. Sneaking down the crowded aisle in the dark. There is another way to exit a packed theater. Yell “fire!” at the top of your lungs. Then, of course, you create a stampede…. People get shoved… and pushed… and bruised… and even trampled…. And it takes longer to leave than if you had carefully picked your way down the aisle. That is what traditional divorce looks like. 
  • You go to a movie; buy an overpriced ticket; pay a fortune for popcorn; watch endless coming attractions. Finally, the feature begins. It’s awful. You don’t want to disturb everyone, but, finally, you can’t take it anymore. You sneak out, push open the exit door, and blink in the bright daylight. It’s the same with marriage. You go in with high hopes; eventually you realize you’ve made a mistake. You don’t have to be miserable until the credits roll. Divorce won’t prevent you from trying again. Get a collaborative divorce. 
  • The fact is, you never get your day in court… in court. It’s called “no-fault” divorce. The judge isn’t interested in whether he cheated with her best friend or she spent all their money on the slots… It’s all irrelevant…. But not in collaborative divorce, where you get your day in court. It’s just not in court. 
  • Happy New Year! Now that the holidays are over, folks who have been putting off their divorces are making New Year’s Resolutions, planning a fresh start in their relationships. If you have a friend like this, be a friend! Recommend that they consult a collaborative lawyer, and get a kinder, gentler, win-win divorce, a collaborative divorce! 
  • Courtroom divorce pits parents against each other in a war with no winners. The best part about this archaic process? It’s recorded in a public court file for the whole world to see, including the kids. But there is a better way… collaborative divorce. Using a team of experts with a single goal: to dissolve your marriage peacefully. 
  • If you think a professional’s expensive, hire an amateur! Many people choose the kitchen table divorce. It’s a good choice if there’s no home, no children, and no debts. By the same token, if you think an attorney’s expensive, try doing it yourself; it can cost you more in the long run. 
  • Collaborative divorce takes place over a series of meetings: between the clients and the neutral financial, the facilitator, the lawyer, the whole team. No judge; no court. If the parties throw in the towel and file, their lawyers are done, and they retain new lawyers. Collaborative lawyers are focused on finding peaceful resolution. They are not distracted by the need to gird themselves for battle. No lawyers “stirring the pot” or “churning the case. 
  • This is an open palm. This is a closed fist. An open palm holds more than a closed fist. This is collaborative divorce [open palm]. This is traditional divorce [fist]. A collaborative divorce holds families together (even though the parents may not be). [palms cupped together.] A traditional courtroom divorce blows families apart. [fist explodes open.] Send your friends to a collaborative lawyer for their divorces. 
  • The divorce rate more than doubled between 1940 and 1981 before falling a third, to a 40-year low, by 2009. What caused this plunge? The recession! 1) we couldn’t afford to get divorced and 2) we had nothing to fight over! Now, divorces are on the rise! Divorce collaboratively and keep more of what’s yours! 
  • Don’t assume collaborative divorce is too expensive; it’s not the rate or the retainer that determine the cost. It’s the hours! Collaborative divorce takes less court and less time. 
  • For years, I had a horrible job. I was a great trial attorney. But trial attorneys have been doing it all wrong. Going to court to dissolve marriages. Taking your most personal issues in front of a judge who doesn’t know you… Doesn’t share your values… Doesn’t love your children… Now I tell my clients, “Don’t litigate; collaborate! 
  • Collaborative divorce is cutting edge. It’s divorce with diplomacy and with dignity, divorce without court. It’s a win-win, peaceful process that gets you divorced but protects your relationships with your children, your extended family, your friends, and everyone else you know! 
  • Peanut butter and…? Jelly! Rice and…? Beans! Divorce and…? Collaborative!!! Collaborative divorce is divorce without court, a win-win process that gets you divorced but protects your relationships with your children, your parents, your friends, and the rest of the people you care about.  
  • Divorce is one of the most stressful events a person can ever suffer through. Yet over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Courtless divorce reduces the stress of divorce! 
  • Why collaborative divorce instead of the traditional courtroom divorce? When you file for divorce, it’s always a race to the courthouse; the first to file has the advantage. It’s war from the get-go. It’s destructive, financially AND emotionally, for the clients and their kids. Even when we “win,” it never feels like we won. Collaborative divorce is constructive. Neither party has the advantage; they are always on equal footing. The lawyers serve as teachers and problem-solvers, not adversaries, finding the best possible resolution for both parties. The parties learn to problem solve, to identify what they need instead of what they want. 
  • Remember the 50/50 rule: 50% of first marriages end in divorce and, usually, 50% of the assets go to each spouse! When divorce is inevitable, don’t litigate; collaborate! 
  • I was talking to the founder of Evos the other day explaining collaborative divorce to him. I knew that I had to explain it through his particular prism, so I said “We are doing for ‘divorce’ what you did for ‘fast food.’ We offer “the healthy alternative.’” His response? “That’s so weird; it just makes the hair on my arms stand up!’ That’s a great service you’re providing!” A great referral for me is your pastor, your minister, your rabbi, someone who counsels folks about their most personal problems. 
  • I offer all kinds of courtless divorce, all less expensive than courtroom divorce. Sometimes it’s cheaper in the long run to pay more up-front!  
  • Collaborative divorce is divorce process in which a couple can end their marriage without starting World War III. If you walk into my office wanting to start World War III with your spouse, we can do that, too. War or peace? It’s your choice. 
  • Collaborative Divorce is peaceful divorce. In fact, it’s a loving way to divorce, for folks who don’t love each other anymore, but who DO love their children. Couples divorcing collaboratively leave the marriage able to communicate and co-parent effectively, the opposite outcome of many traditional courtroom divorces. We encourage people to choose their fate and collaborate. 
  • Collaborative divorce is peaceful divorce.  A peaceful divorce may sound too good to be true, but it is a wonderful reality for our collaborative divorce clients. If you know someone who wants to divorce his or her spouse in the calmest, most loving way possible, collaborative divorce is a great option.  Tell them to choose their fate and collaborate at Open Palm. 
  • My firm is changing the way the world gets divorced through collaborative divorce. It’s a divorce process that takes place in a conference room instead of a courtroom. Instead of traditional litigation, where a judge decides the outcome for the parties, our collaborative divorce clients control their own fates concerning time sharing with their children, child support, alimony, and splitting their assets and debts.  
  • The dream divorce. A divorce where the spouses do not hate each other at the end. A divorce where the spouses can actually agree on how to separate their lives from each other while still parenting their children together, where, afterwards, they can be friendly with each other instead of bitter and hate-filled. This is the type of divorce my firm provides, collaborative divorce. 
  • What organizations do you belong to or know of or have a contact in that need outside speakers? Give your contact this letter; it explains my availability to speak on courtless and/or collaborative divorce. Your contact can call me to discuss my role as a guest speaker.