Staying in a Bad Marriage

People who have stayed in a bad marriage “for their children’s sake” are starting to ask “Why?” They have good years ahead and don’t need to spend them with someone they don’t love anymore.

My Grandparents

And I’ve written before about “Silver Divorce,” about those who’ve decided to call it “quits” when others would call it “too late.” I remember my grandparents; by the time we moved in with them, they were barely friends and had very little in common. I know that my grandmother would have left if the word “divorce” had not been anathema back then in middle class, New York, suburban circles.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the divorce rate for those 65 and older tripled from 1990 to 2015. Apparently, it’s never too late to look for love.

If This Is You…

What might seem scary to some is liberating to others. I have this conversation with every client who is shocked (and frightened) when his or her spouse announces, ‘’I want a divorce.” And who calls me in tears, whether overt or choked back. What can I say?

This is the worst day; it will only get better from here. Think of this as a chance for you to start fresh. This is your opportunity to begin anew, to find a new home, maybe to downsize? to live where you want to live without having to account for someone else’s opinions, to buy new furniture that you like better than the old stuff, to redecorate to suit your own self…. Focus on the opportunities you will have now.”

It is truly amazing to me how the tears dry up when the focus is on the renewed opportunities with which my new client has been presented.

Remember Who You Are

No matter what; remember you are strong and can start a new chapter at any age. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Divorce funding may be available to help get you started.

You may experience a wide range of emotions, but you are older, so you’ve had a variety of experiences that equip you for handling these emotions. While it is best to process the emotions in your divorce and to mourn the loss of your marriage, you must also move forward with your life.

Change is always hard but when you start a new chapter of your life, you must be ready to make new decisions.

If this is you and you need counsel, to help you decide whether to restructure your family, or, if so, how, visit us at Open Palm Law or email me at We are here for you, and for your family, during whatever change your family is going through! We can help you find the light at the end of your tunnel.

Learn more about collaborative divorce. Follow Open Palm Law.

Need advice now? Contact Joryn!

About this week’s author, Joryn Jenkins.

Joryn, attorney and Open Palm Founder, began her own firm here in Tampa after a 14-year career in law, two of which she served as a professor of law at Stetson University. She is a recipient of the prestigious A. Sherman Christensen Award, an honor bestowed in the United States Supreme Court upon those who have provided exceptional leadership in the American Inns of Court Movement. For more information on Joryn’s professional experience, take a look at her resume.

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