Yesterday, I reread Alice in Wonderland, a treasure trove of now-famous quotes, and happened upon this one. Alice says, “Oh dear, I do wish I hadn’t cried so much.” Now, if you hadn’t read that in context, you might leap to the conclusion that she regretted having wasted her time crying, instead of doing something positive about her situation.

But are tears a waste of time? Health authorities tell us “No.” Although experts list up to eight reasons why not, several are most relevant if you are in the midst of a break up. For one thing, shedding tears in response to some deep emotion activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which will help you relax and therefore has a soothing effect.

But crying can also alleviate pain. Emotional tears release oxytocin and endorphins inside the body. These chemicals will enhance your mood and may also ease both physical and emotional pain. In this way, crying can reduce pain and promote a sense of well-being.

Strangely, tears will also carry away stress hormones, thereby also reducing your stress levels.

Alice was actually being far more pragmatic. Early in the story, she grows to nine feet tall and begins to cry. Later, when she is able to shrink herself back to a manageable size, she finds herself swimming in “the sea.” She quickly realizes that she is swimming in her own giant tears, and says, as she tries to find her way out, “I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears!”

If you want a better result than you’ll get in a traditional litigated divorce, reach out to a collaborative divorce professional and ask your questions. You’ll like the answers. And the results. You can visit us at Open Palm Law or email me at Change is always hard, but you can choose to make that change easier; make it collaboratively.

Learn more about collaborative divorce. Follow Open Palm Law.

Need advice now? Contact Joryn!

About this week’s author, Joryn Jenkins.

Joryn, attorney and Open Palm Founder, began her own firm here in Tampa after a 14-year career in law, two of which she served as a professor of law at Stetson University. She is a recipient of the prestigious A. Sherman Christensen Award, an honor bestowed in the United States Supreme Court upon those who have provided exceptional leadership in the American Inns of Court Movement. For more information on Joryn’s professional experience, take a look at her resume.

What Our Clients Say


Popular Articles

Bringing the Magic

I had a case in which I was retained, not for a collaborative matter, but for litigation. (Back then, I still had the reputation for being “an aggressive family law trial attorney.”)

Read More »


The defining quality of collaborative dispute resolution practice is trust, don’t you agree? As collaborative professionals, we trust the process;

Read More »

Share This Post