Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Break-ups are hard; adding social media to your mix can make a break-up that much more stressful. Ironically, the popular dating site eHarmony offers advice, not just for finding your significant other, but for breaking up with him, as well.
Back in the day, “it was generally accepted that when you left someone’s life you would have little to no contact.” Breaking-up meant that there was “a clean line drawn.” Back then, I could start riding the break-up bus with some reassurance that I wouldn’t have to see him again each stop along the way. Unfortunately, that just isn’t reality for break-ups anymore. Social media makes breaking up complicated, really complicated.
You probably guessed that I just went through a break-up, and you’d be right. My emotions are high, my heart yearns to fill the hole left behind in my life, and social media makes this no easier. Surrendering to a quick search of your ex produces photos, posts, and even day-to-day stories about a life you are leaving behind.
It’s clear that succumbing to a repetitive, stalking cycle will be unhealthy, but many of us cannot resist. And how do you overcome the daunting task of removing yourself from your ex’s accounts: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.? eHarmony offers one solution.
The dating website explains “social media can prolong the pain of a break-up and make it more difficult to move on.” Our world has shifted to one that is based online. Accessibility to social media platforms makes the stress of a break-up that much harder.
What are some dos and don’ts for a break-up, social media style?
Break-up Dos and Don’ts
How should you start this? Unfollow them. Remove yourself from the temptation of stalking his every move. This is likely to be hard. Remind yourself that a quick peek here-and-there doesn’t help you move on. It may be worth the extra step to remove mutual friends that you’ve acquired through the relationship. Seeing posts from others about your ex won’t help you move on either.
The tricky part comes next. Unfollowing your ex doesn’t mean you won’t find other ways to peek into their social media. You should resist this temptation. Perhaps tell your close friends to unfollow your ex, too. Your friends should be empathetic to your need to separate yourself from your ex’s life.
Treat Your Ex How You’d Like To Be Treated
Remember that your ex is most likely feeling similar post break-up emotions. That old saying, “treat others how you’d like to be treated,” applies here. Don’t use your social media to enact your revenge or to hurt your ex. It may be best to restrict yourself from posting anything on social media. There is no need to add fuel to the fire. Just as moments in relationships should be kept private, so too should break-ups. Your Facebook page shouldn’t reflect an episode of General Hospital. Stray away from soap opera-y posts.
It may even be a good idea to take a break from social media all together. Take this time to refocus energy towards your needs and desires. I decided to compile a list of activities that I enjoy doing. Some were individual activities like reading a book that has been catching my eye or taking a 15-minute scenic drive down Bayshore Boulevard. These activities don’t have to all be individual, but make sure that you take time to focus on yourself.
It is terribly difficult to refocus your mind away from an ex, and social media doesn’t help your efforts. Surround yourself with friends and family who love and support you. You should never feel alone during this process. eHarmony reminds us “21 days is long enough to break a bad habit.” It may be best to take a 21-day break from social media, focus on yourself, and begin to enjoy the little things that put you back in touch with yourself.